Chasing Paris

Everytime I think of something to say about you, I’m literally blank-handed. Like everything I say would make everything worse, and that anything I do will make anything that we have left of friendship disappear. I feel that if I say one shared memory, you would turn against your word. Or that if I say the slightest word to you, it would become a one sided memory. Your complexity amuses me.

105 Notes Posted: 1 year ago

I sulk a lot. I complain even more. And I’m high maintenance. Not to mention that I push everyone away from me. How much more of my crap can you deal with and how are you doing it? Because certainly, everybody I know has given up.

148 Notes Posted: 1 year ago

From above, the city lights were a blur, like little specks of light glistening out of nowhere. Near enough to see a circular blob around a radiant light but too far to distinguish where it’s coming from. Perhaps a street light or a lone window during midnight with its lights on among a hundred which are off, or a spotlight, which all spur even more questions. What could that spotlight be coming from? A car? A concert? Or what could that girl behind the window be doing while everyone else is sleeping? Yet looking at it from above, I didn’t wonder the way I always would midair. Because looking at it, I realized for the first time that the lights reflected the stars. And that the stars resembled the lights. There could be a hundred flashlights on at that point, there could be millions of computer screens and cellphone leds, turned on, all of these could have been the circular blob. However like the stars, only the things that shine the brightest are seen. But sometimes, we only think it’s the brightest because it’s surrounded by the dark, like the lone window. And like the stars and lights, this goes the same for people. Those that we think shine the brightest may not actually even be a light. You see, in people, you don’t have to look for their light where they could be seen. You have to look for the sun inside the person, where they could shine the brightest.

192 Notes Posted: 1 year ago

I don’t think I’m a pessimist in spite of my dull, repugnant self. I like to think of a more positive term (which per se contradicts being a pessimist). Not pessimistic, just realistic.

110 Notes Posted: 1 year ago